Things you need to stop doing in 2014
The interwebs are full of "end of 2013 / what's hot for 2014 lists." Kathryn sent me this one which piqued my interest. And since I have a deep-seated tendency to be a one-upper, I just couldn't resist writing my own, especially if I can get sarcastic and impart wisdom at the same time. Here goes...
- Stop choking your marketing budget. Attracting new customers is not free. Ideally you should begin to understand what you need to spend to acquire one new customer, set your goals, and budget accordingly. The golden goose needs feeding.
- Stop talking about CrossFit injuries. Yes Virginia, you can get hurt doing CrossFit. I actually hurt myself the other day. Not doing CrossFit...pushing a broom in my garage. People are getting insanely fit in ways that don't involve bicep curls and expensive machines. And it's totally pissing off the people selling bicep curls and expensive machines. Put down the excuses; go exercise.
- Stop subjecting people to that horrible logo. If you know you're not satisfied with it, act now. It will never get easier. Put that hideous thing down.
- Stop using iTunes. Admit it - it's HORRIBLE software. Apple is now eating everyone's dust. Try Spotify, and tell me I'm wrong (and no more managing files you've downloaded). And face it, you don't own any music. You own the carcass onto which it's encoded, and who really wants another drink coaster? AOL proved that years ago.
- Stop being surprised by the likes of Miley Cyrus. She's human spam. She and others keep doing it BECAUSE YOU KEEP BUYING IT. You keep clicking on links like "you're not going to believe what Miley Cyrus has done now!" Every time you do it, a kitten dies and someone gets paid advertising revenue. It's called Link Bait. CNN is guilty. A&E is waaaay guilty. Do you think there is any correlation between the GQ interview of Phil Robertson and A&E's Duck Dynasty marathon? Forget the First Amendment and political correctness. Look at A&E's bank account. They finished out 2013 with a bang.
- Stop paying lip service to inbound marketing. Promising to do all the things it takes to be successful requires time, effort and the ability to write well and for the medium you're using. I've read your emails. A career in writing is not in your future. Hire a professional.
- Stop group texting. It starts out innocently enough..."Hey er'body! Let's go have dinner!" and it ends with me sending vitriolic messages and images to these people (supposed 'friends'), calling them lots of bad words all in hopes they'll leave me alone...all via group text. If you want to send group messages, use something like the GroupMe app, where people willingly join...or unsubscribe. Hey Apple - let me unsubscribe. Oh, is that Samsung/Google calling?
- Stop nursing that old junk computer hardware. The money you're paying us to fix that garbage could go toward a new, fast computer that won't break again in less than 48 hours. And I'm not talking about that $400 laptop you saw in the Sunday paper.
- Stop telling everyone disturbing details about personal things on Facebook. Please. And no sub-tweeting either.
- Stop hiring professionals whose advice you refuse to listen to regularly. Yes, we all need feedback and suggestions, but paying someone and not letting them do their job is no fun and unproductive for everyone involved.
- Stop breaking traffic laws to be nice. Waving someone on to be nice...that imbecile who is crossing multiple lanes of traffic, is simply stupid. Oh, and you could be liable for any accident they cause. You may think you're doing that person a favor, but you're only encouraging narcissistic driving habits. Let them sit there...they'll figure it out and go use the traffic light like an adult.
- Stop complaining about people using their smartphones in public. Hey, if you prefer to get your news like a troglodyte, don't take it out on me. If Thomas Jefferson was on Twitter, do you think I'd be reading his thoughts filtered by an angry 24-year-old journalism major with an agenda? Uh, no.