Keystone March Madness: A Reasoned and Irrational Analysis
"March Madness" is, according to Wikipedia, the main part of the breeding season of the European hare. And this, folks, is why you need to tell your children that Wikipedia is of the devil.
Wait, what? Oh...there's more?
Events surrounding the single-elimination Division I college basketball tournaments performed each spring in the United States.The tournaments' nickname, "March Madness", originated in the 20th century and was later adopted by the media.
Whatever. Let me tell you about "Madness." And I'm not talking about the British ska/pop band of the 1980's. Thanks, Wikipedia.
This is 10 Points of Madness:
1. My orthopedist and fellow Rotarian, Dr. Gregg Motz, is in first place. Whenever I do something stupid (like crash my bike) he's my first call. Sure, his Mercer over Duke, Stephen F. Austin over VCU, and Dayton over both Ohio State AND Syracuse may have been fantastically prophetic...but his Oklahoma-homer-ism cost him dearly. As dearly as one can pay and still remain #1. Congrats, Gregg. don't take my undue criticism out on my knees.
2. While we're on the upper-echelon Keystone March Madness bracketologists, the top ten after the first three rounds of the tournament are all last picks on the playground. Sorry guys, I call 'em like I see 'em. And yeah, I'm talking to you too Mike Douglas. I'm still in possession of the "Championship of the World." (Note: Mike and I go back to 5th grade. I can shame him without shame.)
3. There are only two women in the top twenty. What happened ladies? C'mon!
4. I'm currently in 36th place.
5. My friend Brandon Taylor is in 11th place. If he finishes above me at the end of the tournament, I have to profess my love of the University of Memphis on Facebook. I might choose to move to Siberia instead. Brandon lives in Siberia. For some reason he spells it "Minnesota."
6. The only two Keystone people (one current, one former) in the top 20 are from Indiana. I don't have anything funny to say about that. I think they're both glad they're no longer in Indiana.
7. Jamie Holland's fiance, Emma Newsom, is ranked above him. Everyone at Keystone wishes her the best. Take that however you wish.
8. Duke went out in the first round to 14 seed Mercer. Imagine how empty your life would be without The Nae Nae? And speaking of empty, there's Kathryn Good, our esteemed marketing director. She's currently tied for 52nd place. Her take on all this? "I'm never filling out a bracket again. I picked Duke to win it all." Poor Duke...they never win anything.
9. Here's a list every team picked to win it all and the number of times they were picked.
Florida - 26
Louisville - 7
Michigan St - 4
Kentucky, Virginia- 3
Duke, Michigan, Syracuse - 2
Arizona, Creighton, Memphis, North Carolina, Villanova, Wichita St, Wisconsin - 1
Looks like The Jorts have spoken.
10. Tennessee is in the Sweet 16. I'm biased as a Tennessee alumnus, but like several other alums in the pool, didn't pick Tennessee to make it past...Duke. But is this not what the Madness is all about? This and bashing Duke and Kentucky on Twitter (I see you Jennifer Johnson...)? Teams that limp into the tournament and absolutely maul their opponents, surprising everyone...including themselves? Can I change my brackets now? I'd like to amend them to put Tennessee on top. Two reasons:
(1) Jarnell Stokes wore Google Glass for his post-game interview. He goes out hauls in 18 rebounds (vs. 19 for Mercer's entire team) and then throws on the Googles. What's not to love?
(2) The best selfie EVER. Congrats, Coach Martin!